The Beginner’s Guide to BDSM

Whether you want to dip your toes in the water or you’ve been in practice for years, there are many types of kinks and BDSM practices. If you’re just starting out, it’s important not to compare yourself to someone who has been at this art for many years. Patience and practice—and safety, most importantly—make you master.

For those of you who are introducing this into your life and don’t know where to start, we have some products and tips to point you in the right direction. Let’s start with the most introductory point of BDSM: a definition.

BDSM is an umbrella term for Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, and Masochism. Each of these terms, however, are associated with additional vocabulary, adult toys, and practices. You don’t have to know all the vocabulary in order to practice the art of BDSM; however, if you’re curious, there are a number of resources to feed your curious mind. Just be aware that romantic novels and blockbuster movies do not always represent the practice accurately.

If you’re wondering what’s a great way to introduce BDSM into your bedroom play and intimate life, well the catch to BDSM is that there really isn’t a textbook way to do so. As long as you and your partner agree on what you both want, then we believe that there’s no incorrect way, as long as consent and safety are practiced the entire time. However, if you’re stuck and need a little nudge on where to start, here are some of our favorite introductory products and tips:

• Bondage Tape: To begin, we have learned that a lot of people (including ourselves) often find it comfortable to begin introducing BDSM into our intimate lives from the Bondage and Discipline aspects. For starters, bondage tape is a really great introduction to restraints, a perfect go-to for those just starting out. Don’t fear—the tape is vinyl and sticks to itself, not your skin. This is a perfect start if you are shy or if you are nervous about the idea of buying cuffs. But, safety first! It isn’t recommended for use over the mouth or over the nose. It also isn’t a bad idea to have a pair of round-point scissors on hand for quick release, should you need it.
• Beginner Cuffs: There are many brands of handcuffs out there, with quite a variation in price, comfort, material, and purpose. We find that, though many people think of metal handcuffs initially, metal cuffs can be a bit aggressive and can put a lot of pressure on the wrists. We don’t want your first experience to be a bad one or shy you away from the BDSM experience. Our recommendation? A brand that goes by a very sexy name itself: Sinful. The company offers a multitude of cuffs and even beginner bondage kits. These cuffs are padded, comfortable, and come in two colors: pink and black. The kit carries a blindfold, hogtie, ankle cuffs, and wrist cuffs. If you want to experience a little more than just the wrists, this is a perfect packaged deal.
  
• Restraints: The fact that you can tuck these under-the-bed restraints under your mattress for discrete play makes them an amazing option. They also have the option for different restraint placements for the wrists and ankles. Sportsheets carries a restraints set that comes with the cuffs and can also be used for over-the-door and over-a-chair restraint (not to mention that the company’s limited lifetime warranty is well worth it). And don’t worry if you don’t like the cuffs it comes with—the set allows you to use any set of cuffs. Bed restraints seem to be the most common form of restraints, which is great for beginners, as they aren’t too perplex or intimidating. They also allow for other types of play for more experienced partners or just the comfort of your bed for a good night’s sleep.
• Paddles: Paddles are no longer taboo! You may spank your partner here and there, safely and with their permission. Although floggers seem awesome, they also require practice and some prior skillset. Instead, find a nice paddle that isn’t going to be too harsh for beginners. With this paddle’s elegant fabric covering, it is perfect if you want to save your hand but not quite hurt your partner.
  
• Nipple Play: For too long we have forgotten about the nipples. While some men and women just aren’t into it, some have just forgotten about how sensitive, and pleasurable, they can be. You can start by pinching your partner’s nipples during playtime, but what happens if they still crave the sensation and you want to use your hands in other places? Clamps are the answer for you. No, we do not mean find the most intense, pinching, painful clamps out there. Most people just aren’t used to the sensation, and they are still very delicate. Calexotics has developed the perfect fist-time clamps that provide a vibrating sensation without too harsh of a pinch. These wonderful clamps are the Nipplettes….and we support the play.
• Massage Candles: Now, we can envision that you’re asking how a massage plays into the BDSM world, but here’s the thing: wax and temperature play is fun. While some candles heat up to a higher temperature for a more intense sensation, massage candles still give that sensation at a lower temperature for the perfect warm feeling. It’s a great way to also connect with your partner, set the mood, and be a little more sensual before you get into the more intense acts of play. Kama Sutra is a great beginner’s candle. They come in a variety of scents to fit whatever mood tickles your fancy. This also leaves room for more intense candle play in the future.
  

Whatever it is that you’re looking for, or wanting to learn, know that there is always something out there to fill your wildest fantasies. No matter what, we are always happy to help you along the way to safe and pleasurable good vibes