24 BDSM Tips For Beginners

While you may not be ready for all the excitement BDSM can bring, it did go mainstream with the red room scenes in “50 Shades of Grey.” Wanting to explore the intoxicating world of BDSM is a perfectly healthy form of sex that’s worthy of being enjoyed. So let’s start out by learning the basics.

What Is BDSM

Although this type of play has evolved in names over the years, currently BDSM is a catch-all phrase for bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, and sadism. But there are many, many levels. Clearly you have at least a slight interest in the idea. You’re reading this blog after all. So let’s dive in.

How To Begin In BDSM

No matter what you try, it’s important to understand that true BDSM play is based on safety, consent, and boundaries, so talk openly and honestly with your partner about what you are willing to try, and what you absolutely are not. Then set a safe word. The word should be something that doesn’t come up normally during foreplay or sex. Like pineapple, Petunia, or some other word you both are willing to understand that when that word is uttered, everything stops until you’re both comfortable. You can also use the traffic light system, where green means go for it, yellow means don’t stop but slow down a bit, and red means stop right now.

Next, think about the different levels and what you’re comfortable with. Is it exciting for you to be dominated with your partner giving commands for his or her needs? Then try a submissive role. Is it more exciting to be the dominant partner and bending your submissive to your will? While most people enjoy one way or the other, while you’re exploring, feel free to try both roles and see how it feels.

Ease into your first session by wearing or having your partner wear comfortable handcuffs. Add an element of surprise by wearing a blindfold. Take things up a notch by adding a spreader bar with optional wrist cuffs to keep the wearer in a fingers-to-toes position and unable to close their legs. These types of sensory deprivation toys are a great way to explore what excites you and your partner.

Pleasure From Pain

A little bit of pain can be a good thing, although everyone has their own limits. Start by using a massage candle. These are fantastic gauges for your own pain/excitement levels. The warm candle wax tingles a bit when it hits your skin, and then relaxes away when your partner rubs it into your body.

Next, try an impact toy, such as a tickler, paddle, whip, crop, or flogger – in that order, preferably. While ticklers are fun and can certainly have an impact if used for that, as you work your way up that list, you’ll quickly learn the difference between a paddle and a flogger, so start slowly and ease your way up the list.

If you’re into something a little more high-tech, try a stimulation toy. Electroshock toys come in all types, from nipple suckers and c-rings to egg vibrators and anal toys. 

At Dusty’s, we offer a wide selection of BDSM kits so you can try multiple items and find just what you’re looking for, from hogties and gags to penis cages and other chastity controllers. So dive on into the BDSM world and find your new level of fun. As always, feel free to ask our experts for advice and suggestions either in-store or online.

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